These last few weeks have been extremely tough. We are back in a covid lockdown scenario, and South Africa’s privacy and data protection laws just came into effect.
But more than that, every day, I seem to see the impact of gender bias or gender role bias. It is troubling… Let us start with some good old bias and gender-based politics ….
Mom is the nurturer, and therefore loving mothers who value their children don’t work. There is unspoken cruelty between working mothers and stay at home mothers. However, if you want to be the self-proclaimed runt of the litter of “good” moms – well, become an entrepreneur mother. I dare you! You will be at the bottom of the food chain.
You will forever be discussed behind your back, criticized to your face and watched closely by the biased close members of the family.
Oh, and heaven forbid if you, entrepreneur mom, marry a supportive husband who does more than drink beer and watch sport. If you are an entrepreneur mom or even a working mom, you are not so lucky to have a supportive partner – life if the pits. That makes us bitter and resentful, and rightfully so.
Enough about the ranting, because today that is the point of this post, we are quick to complain about a society still stuck on a 1950’s debate on gender equality in the context of parenting. Or that women need to look at marriage or union as a functional and healthy equitable partnership, yet we allow very similar judgement and bias to befall the few good men who do step up.
What are we doing to hero the men who genuinely support his family, unlike the biased members of the family? Not just when no one is looking, but to encouraging them to attend school meetings and events usually expected of the mom?
What are we doing as wives? What are we doing as partners? And employers?
Are we part of a cycle or the solution? Or am I writing this in unbroken chains, busy shackling my own husband, business partner or colleague in our own little glass box?
Being part of the solution means, hero-ing our dads and moms in a way that reinforces the core principle that effective parenting is a team sport. It calls for sacrifices on both sides to effectively manage home and work, in a healthy and balanced way. We are setting the example for the future generation and if we have any hope that this journey becomes easier and less “emotionally trying” or “politically” charged (from a bias point of view), we need to act consciously now!
