I told my story in the last few months – however raw it was. I have written down many intensely personal accounts of life as an entrepreneur, wife and mother. Of course, these are not listed in any particular order (from my side). However, I feel that my husband may have something to say about his position on the list. Jokes aside, life recently became something to survive instead of living.
Yes, it has been rough, and that is an understatement. However, I consider myself to be an intensely optimistic person. My eldest son is a ray of sunshine. Now and again, I like to think that perhaps some of his light came from me. My youngest is a teddy bear – who teaches me kindness every day.
The problem with being in a storm for long enough – and that we were. You go on autopilot through covid, moving house, declining economy, interest rate hikes, losing a close family member, and severe illness in your immediate family (more than once). You are just on the very edge of burnout. In many ways, we opt-out and stop living. You do what needs to be done (and rarely look forward to it); you live for the weekend. And before we know it – that is normal.
So, today I want to compare where I am and my life experience with riding a bike—or preparing to saddle that horse and get back on it.
I feel it in my bones and believe that there comes a time when you need to be able to distinguish what you control and have the power to improve or change and what you do not. At some point, when you have done your very best, you have continuously improved and adjusted; you need to have faith and patience. It would be best if you let go. Letting go does not mean that you do not care. It means you do about yourself, those you love, and those you influence. Not letting go is like a long-distance athlete sprinting at the start and realizing in the last 300m they will not finish the race.
Yes, I let go around three weeks ago. Some tough decisions had to be made in 2022, and some battle scars were picked up. I was honestly exhausted that the usual things to unwind didn’t work anymore. So, I made peace, let go, slept a lot, got sick and recovered. Then I woke up, planned a holiday and started to set boundaries again, and decreased the working hours – not cold turkey – a little bit at a time. I am not 100% there yet. I am still saddled. I am still peddling with some stabilizers – but at least I hear the birds singing and smell the flowers again, and I find myself being grateful for the little things.
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