In the last few weeks I have been asking myself the key question – am I a good mother? I suppose it is a question we should all ask at some point. I am asking it now for two reasons, one it is Women’s Month and secondly, I just became a mother again and I may add under the most trying circumstances of my life.
If we are fair about this entire process, then I think we should also ask – what is a good mother? What does this phrase that has over so many years driven fear into the hearts of so many mothers mean? Is it what we assume it to be because of a range of projections or is it what we are told it to be? Should we analyse this or should we just jump in and score?
I’m definitely not comfortable to jump in at this point. I would rather unpack a few thoughts swarming around in my own head.
My personal story has driven me to a large extent to look at this question time and time again. So, by my own admission, this would not be the first time this question has found itself into my head and will certainly not be the last time either.
We all have that one person that is the epitome of what we see as the striking example of “I have got this” mother. And inevitably, we would measure ourselves up against her. We also all have that extreme example of what not to be. In principle there is nothing inherently wrong with this approach. However, should we not rather be focussed on what the child wants or needs? What the child will remember and value 20 years from now?
That brings me to the real point and my note to the Entrepreneur Mother, please do not measure yourself against who you aspire to be as a mother. I mean, do not do it in a judgemental and negative way. Be kind to yourself. There are enough haters in the world and you need not be in their corner. Rather ask yourself the critical question – what does my child need right now and what will prepare them best for what lies ahead in the real world? In my view it is your role to prepare your child for that world and further to ensure that they are able to make a significant positive contribution to it. So, is it not more accurate to ask – what will they value when one day they need to draw from the lessons you were tasked to teach?
I believe this is a very deep consideration – one that involves the legacy you are working on today. Teaching your child a committed work ethic ,that hard work and tenacity pays off is invaluable. Furthermore, that failure is not something to be avoided at all costs. As entrepreneurs we are exposed to hard work, to make a success of your life. To leave a lasting legacy you need grit and determination through failure. These are lessons no text book can teach.
So, my dear Entrepreneur Mother who is often judged without merit and who often feels guilty about being late or tired – be kind to yourself and remember that your little one is learning some valuable life lessons from you. Celebrate Women’s Month with your head held high, I for one salute every single one of you!